South American Fun

I can't take it anymore, I'm sick of only "good" posts, I'm going out on a limb and going back to posting about my sexual exploits. I don't think anybody I don't want to find my blog will..so here goes.

So, I"m obsessed with wanting ot drink breast milk lately. It's a long story, but I tried it and I'm obsessed. So I did some research and foudn that it's possible to make yourself lactate through focus and nipple stimulation. Therefore, I purchased a breast pump. Spent over $200 on it. I've been using it on myself daily, sometimes twice daily. Last week clear fluid started leaking out of my right breast, but so far no milk. So, I took the pump with me to South America.

All was well and I was having fun traveling. I met my grandparents in Carcaras and we were off to Buenos Aires from there. I put the breast pump in my carry on , because there was no room in my checked bag, even though I pack lightly. I usually try to forgo checking baggage but I had to this time. Anyway, at the airport in Carcaras , we had to go through security. I was all feeling good, feeling great and then they had some questions when my bag went through the screen. I thought, "oh shit..they're getting me on mascara being a liquid". For the record, I have taken mascara and liquid as carry on for the past six months and they've either never caught it or just don't care, no matter if it's the US or a foregin country. So, they've stopped my bag and are gazing a it and they take it out and ask me if it's mine and I say it is..and they say they have to look through it and I'm fine with that, because I'm not even thinking about the breast pump...and out it comes. There's a girl and a guy. They start talking to each other in rapid succession and I guess she was asking what it was and he shrugged and all of a sudden my nonny says, "that's a breast pump! That's for women who are nursing babies!" I said, "ummm..." She said, "That's not hers...that's not hers..someone put it in her bag!" And one of the security officials says in accented English. "this is not yours? Someone put something in your bag?" He sounds all alarmed and I"m like, "no, no it's mine." My grandmother just stared at me. My grandfather looked at me like I was crazy. They asked me why I had a breast pump. What did I need this for. My grandfather told me I"m getting more bizarre by the week. I told them it belonged to a friend of mine. The security guy said, "someone asked you to transport this for you then?" I said, "no, no..it's not like that." Boy was I in a jam. So he said, "then it is yours then." I said, "yes, yes" and they looked it over and sent us on our way. Neither of my grandparents say a word to me as we make our way to the gate. We get there and I say, "look, it's my friend Jessica's and, um"' and they interuppted and said, "why would you take your friend's breast pump down here with you?" I said, "listen it's a really long story, and " my pap interuppted and said, "well,we've got time, so do tell. " I said, "it's a big joke with me and my friends, you wouldn't understand..we pass this breast pump around and it's a big joke and.." my grandmother interjected and said, "are you pregnant? is that what this is about?" I said, "no, no no!" I think they believe that I'm not pregnant, but I think they also believe I"m crazy and out of my mind and have no idea what the pump is about or why I'm carrying it.

Anyway, later in the trip, I had a hot afternoon affair with a hotel maid. But I'll write about that next week. Must be off now. I'm also going to try and post about this rendevous I had with a Russian girl in the middle of a desert, and how I gave oral sex to four different guys that week. I also have a new friend from Finland named Helena, but I have no idea where she is right now.

I"ll write again next week.